Woman Reconsiders Romance After Spotting Hello Kitty Keychain on Eligible Bachelor's Scoopy Ignition
By TRENT MACGUFFIN, EDITORIAL INTERN
CHIANG MAI, THAILAND — In a sobering reminder that perfection remains cruelly elusive, residents of Chiang Mai’s digital-nomad dating scene are mourning what could have been, after learning the city’s most promising new arrival—a man unanimously described as “handsome, emotionally intelligent, and in touch with his feminine side”—rides a Honda Scoopy, effectively shattering the collective romantic fantasy.
Suda Jiraporn, 27, said she initially thought her date, an American digital nomad named Brett, was “interesting enough” after meeting him at a coworking event, despite his use of the term “growth hacking.”
But as Brett approached to give her a lift after dinner, she spotted the bright pink Sanrio character swinging gently from his keychain.
“I froze,” Suda said. “It was just staring at me. Smiling at me. Mocking me.”
Brett, a 32-year-old from Portland, Oregon, explained that the keychain was a leftover from the previous scooter’s owner, from whom he had purchased the bike from on Facebook Marketplace. He said he had never bothered to remove it, calling it “ironic kitsch” and “actually kinda dope.”
Suda wasn’t convinced.
“Irony? I don’t think so,” she said. “It felt earnest. It felt sincere. It felt alarming.”
After an awkward silence, Brett reportedly suggested they go for bubble tea and “talk about it.” Suda declined and hailed a GrabCar instead.
“I’m still processing,” she said later. “He’s a grown man. He said he does ‘brand consulting.’ But . . . Hello Kitty? I think he’s the one who needs a consultant.”
Brett declined to comment, though his roommates confirmed to The Farang Standard that he replaced the Hello Kitty fob with a minimalist leather strap the next day.
“Damage done. You can’t un-Kitty a Scoopy,” Suda said.
A compact scooter designed for petite urbanites, the Honda Scoopy is viewed by many as incompatible with Chiang Mai’s Instagram-fuelled ideals of rugged expat masculinity, which typically involve motorbikes that suggest dangerous backstories or crypto wealth.
“It’s not about superficiality,” explained Emily Chen, 29, wellness coach and part-time dating podcaster. “It’s about feeling safe — both physically and romantically. The Scoopy says, ‘I’m here for groceries,’ not ‘I’m here to disrupt your soul.’ At least get a Click.”