The Farang Standard Weekly Horoscopes
Your horoscopes for the week of 18 August 2025
Aries
You’re radiating chaotic thirst and reckless ambition. Someone’s getting seduced—it might even be you. This week’s aphrodisiac of choice: motorbike exhaust at golden hour.
Taurus
You’ll be seduced by comfort, carbs, and someone who smells like mild regret. Lean in. This week’s aphrodisiac of choice: buttered toast eaten in bed with eye contact.
Gemini
You’ll flirt your way into four dates and a minor scandal. Keep it breezy. This week’s aphrodisiac of choice: aggressively witty voice notes.
Cancer
You’ll open up emotionally and accidentally start a situationship. Again. This week’s aphrodisiac of choice: crying in unison under fairy lights.
Leo
You’ll fall in love with your own reflection—and someone else’s compliments. This week’s aphrodisiac of choice: being told you’re the hottest person at the party, loudly.
Virgo
You’ll plan a date with military precision and still forget to relax. Try chaos. This week’s aphrodisiac of choice: perfectly folded laundry and eye contact with a person who works for a government security service.
Libra
You’ll fall for someone’s playlist and spiral from there. Classic. This week’s aphrodisiac of choice: whispered apologies and harmonized Spotify taste.
Scorpio
You’ll smolder across the room and collect souls like stamps. Dangerous and effective. This week’s aphrodisiac of choice: M-150.
Sagittarius
You’ll flirt in three languages and ghost them all by the end of the night out. Iconic. This week’s aphrodisiac of choice: philosophical debates at 3 a.m. in a hostel bunk.
Capricorn
You’ll try to seduce someone with your LinkedIn achievements. It will turn out to be disturbingly successful. This week’s aphrodisiac of choice: being asked to ‘take the lead’ in a crisis.
Aquarius
You’ll attract fellow weirdos like moths to an LED. Let them orbit. This week’s aphrodisiac of choice: quoting obscure philosophers in bed.
Pisces
You’ll fall for someone’s vibe, trauma, and handwriting. Proceed with caution. This week’s aphrodisiac of choice: forehead kisses and shared delusions.