The Farang Standard Weekly Horoscopes

Jun 01, 2025

Aries

You’re revving at full throttle but the universe gave you a tricycle. This week, coast—before the training wheels come off mid-ego trip.

You're nesting like a suspicious bird. Cozy is cute, but at some point you need to fly—or at least change your bedsheets.

You're throwing darts at life choices with both hands and zero aim. This week, pick one target. Or wear protective gear.

You're craving emotional depth but dating puddles. Stop confusing vibes for values and invest in waterproof shoes.

You're broadcasting confidence like a broken karaoke mic—loud, unclear, and slightly tragic. Turn it down or switch songs.

You're fixing problems no one asked you to. This week, try not fixing anything and see who self-destructs first.

You're outsourcing your identity again. This week, be your own influence. Or at least unfollow that Bangkok life coach.

You're magnetic, mysterious, and mildly unhinged. Lean in. But maybe warn the next person who tries to fall in love with you.

You're a walking flight risk with commitment issues and a bad skin. This week, try staying in one place—and wear sunscreen.

You're climbing the ladder of success only to realize it’s propped against an noodle stall. Reassess. Or rebrand.

You're innovating ways to be misunderstood. Try communication—or subtitles—for your next identity crisis. No dating over Google Translate this week.

You're emotionally time-traveling and spiritually jet-lagged. Come back to the present before your plants die and your rent’s late.