The Farang Standard Weekly Horoscopes
Your horoscopes for the week of 30 June, 2025
Aries
You’re one unsolicited opinion away from getting exiled from yet another brunch group. Consider silence—briefly. This week’s unlucky animal: street pigeon.
Taurus
You're convinced you can fix it with a spreadsheet and emotional detachment. You can't. This week’s unlucky animal: soi dog with abandonment issues.
Gemini
A romantic entanglement will escalate into a group chat civil war. Pick a side and bring receipts. This week’s unlucky animal: monitor lizard on a Red Bull bender.
Cancer
Your empathy is leaking into dangerous places, like HR meetings and karaoke bars. Rein it in. This week’s unlucky animal: blind fortune-telling turtle in Lumpini park.
Leo
The spotlight will find you, but so will the consequences of last week’s voice note. Delete it now. This week’s unlucky animal: soi cat in a Gucci collar.
Virgo
You’ve organized your life to death. The universe will now send you a Gemini to ruin it. This week’s unlucky animal: cockroach that survived the purge.
Libra
You’ll be torn between two lovers, three condos, and zero good choices. Just pretend to meditate. This week’s unlucky animal: ancient koi fish in a temple pond.
Scorpio
Power is intoxicating, but so is that dodgy som tam you ate at 2 a.m. Choose your poisons wisely. This week’s unlucky animal: emotionally unavailable cobra.
Sagittarius
You will impulsively book a spiritual retreat that turns out to be an MLM. Bring sandals and skepticism. This week’s unlucky animal: ego-tripping peacock.
Capricorn
Success is near, but so is burnout. Stop grinding like you’re on a crypto bender in 2021. This week’s unlucky animal: caffeine-addicted water buffalo.
Aquarius
You’ll attempt to start a movement. It will immediately be co-opted by an Instagram yogi. This week’s unlucky animal: self-important crow.
Pisces
Your dreams are trying to tell you something. Unfortunately, they're in Portuguese and sponsored by vape ads. This week’s unlucky animal: emotionally manipulative jellyfish.