The Farang Standard Weekly Horoscopes
Your horoscopes for the week of 11 August 2025
Aries
You’ll stumble into success like a drunk uncle into a buffet—loudly and unapologetically. This week’s career godsend: being mistaken for someone important in a meeting and running with it.
Taurus
Your stubbornness finally pays off when everyone else gives up. Congratulations, you win by attrition. This week’s career godsend: client forgets your deadline and thanks you for being 'early.'
Gemini
You’ll talk your way into an opportunity you didn't apply for and definitely aren’t qualified for. This week’s career godsend: a compliment on your shoes that turns into a job offer.
Cancer
You’ll emotionally blackmail your way into a promotion, possibly by crying at exactly the right time. This week’s career godsend: manager projects their feelings onto you—in your favor.
Leo
You’ll go viral for something ridiculous and somehow turn it into a brand deal. This week’s career godsend: unsolicited praise from a powerful stranger who thinks you’re charming and ‘raw.’
Virgo
Your meticulous notes will save a sinking project and make you look psychic. This week’s career godsend: everyone else screws up, and your mediocrity quietly shines.
Libra
You’ll charm someone in HR into skipping bureaucracy. It’s goes against protocol, but it works in your favour. This week’s career godsend: being invited to a 'casual coffee' that turns into a power romance.
Scorpio
Your perpetual scheming finally aligns with timing. Suddenly, you’re the trusted one. This week’s career godsend: blackmail-adjacent knowledge becoming ‘strategic leverage.’
Sagittarius
You’ll joke your way into a leadership role, then have to fake responsibility. This week’s career godsend: accidentally impressing the CEO by mispronouncing a buzzword confidently.
Capricorn
You’ll be rewarded for a decade of overachieving with an awkward compliment and a suspicious raise. This week’s career godsend: intern worships you and does 80% of your work.
Aquarius
You’ll pitch something wild, and someone richer than you will think it's genius. This week’s career godsend: someone says 'wow, that’s disruptive' and funds your pipe dream.
Pisces
You’ll doodle something during a breakdown and accidentally create a logo for a startup. This week’s career godsend: your idle daydream turns out to be a viable business model.