Phuket Taxi Mafia Driver Reportedly “Actually a Nice Guy” Once You Accept the 800 Baht Base Fare
JOHAN YIVES JOHANOPOLIS, EDITOR-AT-LARGE
PHUKET, THAILAND — In a revelation that has both baffled and mildly soothed sunburned tourists, a Phuket taxi driver reportedly affiliated with the so-called “Taxi Mafia” has been described as “actually a nice guy” — but only after his passenger stopped questioning the 800-baht fare for a five-minute journey.
The driver, known locally as Uncle Dam, greeted Canadian tourist Rachel McIntyre, 29, with the usual combination of friendly menace and laminated price list. When she asked if the meter was broken, he replied with a weary laugh and the phrase: “Meter? No have. But I have good heart.”
“At first I thought I was being scammed,” McIntyre said. “But once I paid the fare without arguing, he opened up about his dog, his daughter’s wedding, and his favorite Thai soap operas. Then he drove me to a local seafood place. I guess it gives him a cut, but was still delicious.”
Sources close to the curbside negotiations say the transformation was “almost spiritual.” Uncle Dam allegedly went from stone-faced negotiator to soulful life coach in under 30 seconds.
“He said life is too short to fight about money,” McIntyre added. “Which I guess is a convenient philosophy when you charge 160 baht per kilometer.”
Local expats were divided. “He overcharges tourists, sure,” said Big Dave, a resident of Patong and self-declared tuk-tuk anthropologist. “But he once drove my drunk mate home for free because he liked his Liverpool jersey. Mafia with manners, I say.”
Uncle Dam declined an official interview, but did offer this statement from the window of his aging Toyota Landcruiser: “Phuket is paradise. But if you want cheap, walk.”