“I Bring a Global Perspective,” Says British Teacher Who Failed Year 10 English and Just Discovered Laos
By KIP DUNGWORTH, STAFF REPORTER
KHON KAEN, THAILAND — A self-described “international educator” with no formal training, no visa, and no working printer has declared himself “a beacon of global learning” this week, after landing an under-the-table teaching job at a rural Thai language school and taking a two-day visa run to Laos.
“I’ve seen the world, mate,” said 28-year-old Jordan Reeve, of Leeds, who once spent a weekend in Amsterdam and now claims to speak “basic Dutch.” He recently posted a filtered photo of himself in Vientiane, captioned “Another border, another stamp. #WorldCitizen #NoBordersInTheMind.”
Reeve, who failed Year 10 English back in Britain due to “a disagreement with the curriculum,” says he was drawn to Thailand by a “calling to inspire”.
He has repeatedly denied rumors that his purchase of a one-way air ticket was the result of his highschool sweetheart, Ashley, breaking up with him after he allegedly made a poorly coordinated move on her best friend at the North Concourse Wetherspoons.
The school that hired him — reluctantly, and only after the previous teacher left to join a cult in Udon Thani — reportedly pays him in cash and rice, and has requested multiple times that he stop trying to explain Brexit to 10-year-olds.
“His lessons are mostly YouTube and the word ‘innit,’” said one Thai teaching assistant. “Sometimes he just plays Coldplay and cries. Still, it’s hard to find a millennial willing to be the only native English speaker within a 50km radius, so they’ll probably keep him on.
Reeve’s teaching methodology, which he calls “experiential and chill-forward,” includes daily mindfulness breaks, optional spelling, and a laminated poster that says “There are no wrong answers, just colonial hangovers.”
Following his first-ever trip to Laos last week — a standard border bounce that he later described as “life-altering” — Reeve now claims to have a “deep connection” with Southeast Asia, despite confusing the Mekong with the Nile and asking whether Luang Prabang was “close to Bali.”
Asked about his long-term plans, Reeve said he hopes to eventually open a “holistic education centre-slash-café” in Pai, “where kids can learn math through a vibes-based curriculum.”
As of press time, Reeve was sitting barefoot on the the front step of the 7/11 across from the school front step, rolling a cigarette and feeding roasted peanuts to a soi dog.