Florida Man on Vacation in Bangkok Collects 1,139 Geckos, Arrested for Wildlife Violations
By JOHAN YIVES JOHANOPOLIS, EDITOR-AT-LARGE
BANGKOK, THAILAND — A Florida man on a budget holiday in Bangkok was apprehended early Sunday morning after authorities discovered 1,139 live geckos in his serviced apartment, several of which had been named after 'Game of Thrones' characters, according to the arrest report.
Michael “Mikey” Dorsey, 43, of Ocala, told police he began collecting the reptiles “for vibes” but then “just kind of got into a flow.” Sources close to the bar tab say Dorsey had intended to “start a sanctuary,” though no paperwork was ever filed, and the reptiles were being housed in assorted Tupperware, an unplugged mini-fridge, and one repurposed air fryer.
The haul included multiple species — including tokay, house, and one suspiciously rare day gecko — suggesting Dorsey may have crossed provincial lines during his alleged “spiritual scavenger hunt,” which began in Chatuchak Market and ended in a TikTok livestream from his shower.
“He said he was building a ‘biodiverse ecosystem,’” said the building's maintenance man, who requested anonymity. “But it smelled like a reptile orgy in there.”
Thai authorities, citing animal welfare laws, have charged Dorsey with illegal possession of protected wildlife and “gross impracticality of care.” Officials from the Department of National Parks were seen wearily counting geckos into small mesh bags as Dorsey shouted, “That one’s Jon Gecko! He’s got rights!”
A representative from the U.S. Embassy confirmed they were “monitoring the situation” but noted that “Mr. Dorsey appears to have voluntarily declined legal counsel, insisting that he can ‘talk his way out of it.’”
Veteran expat observer and part-time visa fixer, Tadas “Tad the Lad” Sokolovas, offered his assessment: “Honestly? Could have been worse. At least it wasn’t cobras this time.”
Dorsey remains in custody and has requested a vegan meal, Wi-Fi access, and the return of his lizard-naming journal.
As of press time, Jon Gecko remains unaccounted for.