Farang Wakes Up Next to Severed Budgie Head After Summoning GrabCar Within Line of Sight of Phuket Taxi Stand
By KIP DUNGWORTH, STAFF REPORTER
PHUKET, THAILAND — A British tourist is reportedly “reconsidering his transport options” after waking up next to what appeared to be a severed ornamental budgie head on his hotel pillow — a grim totem left overnight after he was seen booking a GrabCar within 15 meters of a local taxi stand.
The tourist, identified only as “Ricky T.” from Birmingham, had allegedly ignored a wall of crossed arms, glares, and loud coughing fits from idle taxi drivers outside Patong’s Jungceylon Mall when he ordered the ride back to his hotel after buying some new underwear at Uniqlo.
“He pulled out the phone. We all saw it,” said one witness, a vendor who sells knock-off Ray-Bans and cigarettes of uncertain provenience. “He knew what he was doing.”
Ricky entered his GrabCar without incident, but something — or someone — evidently followed him home.
Hotel staff found the headless ceramic bird — a decorative souvenir from a beach gift shop — neatly placed on Ricky’s pillow the next morning, surrounded by grains of uncooked jasmine rice and one cigarette stub.
Ricky initially suspected a prank by hotel cleaning staff or a former Tinder date “getting weird on me”.
It wasn’t until tourist police reviewed his Grab history and realized the pickup point was “within the sacred no-Go zone” — an unmarked radius fiercely patrolled by Phuket’s informal taxi cartel, where ride-hailing apps function only in theory, and occasionally at great personal risk.
“I just wanted to go back to my hotel,” Ricky told reporters. “I didn’t know it was a territorial violation. It’s not like I called Bolt.”
Local authorities declined to comment directly on the incident.
An informal spokesperson for Phuket taxi drivers, known as Uncle Dam, reminded tourists in a written statement that “respecting local transportation customs is crucial to a safe and culturally sensitive visit.”
As of press time, Ricky was seen negotiating unsuccessfully with a win bike driver outside his hotel, before paying 500 baht for a five minute ride to Freedom Beach.