Farang Shocked to Discover “Only” Four Illegal Clauses in Employment Contract, Calls It “Weirdly Professional”
By KIP DUNGWORTH, STAFF REPORTER
BANGKOK, THAILAND — In what labor consultants are calling a “pleasant anomaly,” longtime expat and serial contract victim has expressed cautious optimism after signing on to teach at a mid-tier Bangkok international school with only four illegal clauses in his employment contract — a personal best.
“This is easily the cleanest deal I’ve signed in Asia,” said Jeremy S. Klein (35), of New Zealand, blinking with surprise as he read through page six of the document. “No clause about repaying my flight if I die mid-term. No mandatory smiling hours. They even spelled the school’s name right. Mostly.”
Klein, who has been teaching in Thailand for 11 years but still can’t order a meal without pointing at the menu or using English, says he’s seen it all.
“One contract said I had to ‘like’ every post the school director made on LinkedIn. Another had a non-compete clause that banned me from speaking English in any South East Asian country for three years after my contract ends,” Klein said.
However, Klein still suspects fishhooks with his new job where, according to the contract, he will be teaching year six and seven English at the recently established Cross-cultural Understanding & Neo-Talent School in Ekkamai.
“They’ve specified four sick days per year, which is an interesting take on sections 32 and 57 of the Thai Labor Protection Act. And wishful thinking when you’re dealing with a bunch of snotty-nosed rugrats,” Klein said.
“It also says I have to pay back three months worth of salary if I quit, and give six months notice, which may or may not be accepted ‘as per the agreement of the school director’.”
However, Klein says some clauses are fair, such as the clause banning foreign teachers from saying the ‘U- word’ on school premises. “Yeah, that would probably stand up in employment court, foreigners aren’t allowed to do that in Thailand.”
A former co-worker of Klein’s laughed at the idea of him trying to enforce his rights. “Look, we all know how passive aggressive Kiwis are. He might know the law, but all he’s going to do is silently resent the management team for not following it.”
“Last year he glowered through three terms of ‘voluntary’ after school tennis coaching, despite knowing full well that management requires consent from the employee to modify working hours or job descriptions. Honestly, Jeremy is just a sucker for punishment.”
Klein has denied rumors that his shift of schools is due to a series of his awkward romantic advances being rejected by a Thai teaching assistant at his previous job. “I’m just looking forward to having health insurance that might cover a motorcycle accident,” Klein said.
The insurance in question is understood to only apply to accidents sustained on school premises between 8 a.m. and 3 p.m., and to exclude “all bones below the knee.”
As of press time, Klein was preparing lesson plans for his final week of summer school, and double-checking his contract for references to organ donation — just in case.