Digital Nomad Announces Plan to “Revolutionize” Bangkok Street Food Using Blockchain
By KIP DUNGWORTH, STAFF REPORTER
BANGKOK, THAILAND — In news that surprised absolutely no one except himself, an American digital nomad has announced plans to “totally disrupt” Bangkok’s street food scene — by introducing blockchain payment systems, QR-code loyalty programs, and the kind of unchecked hubris usually reserved for failed TED Talks.
Chad Everett, 31, founder of something called “PadChain Labs,” unveiled his vision Tuesday while drinking a nitro cold brew in an Ekkamai soi, explaining loudly to anyone within six tables that “Thailand is ready for the next level.”
“The system’s broken,” Everett said, pointing to a woman buying noodles for 40 baht with exact change and a smile. “Too much friction. Too little scalability. I’m here to optimize the experience.”
Sources close to his previous, failed, NFT project say Everett plans to roll out an “integrated platform” that allows street vendors to accept crypto payments, issue loyalty NFTs via QR code, and — in his words — “build personal brands around their culinary assets.”
When asked whether he had consulted a single street vendor about this plan, Everett blinked twice and said he “felt the energy of the market” during a recent co-working session.
Critics — that is, anyone who has ever eaten a bowl of khao kha moo without using a blockchain wallet — were quick to point out flaws, such as the fact that most vendors have a perfectly capable QR payment system, and that cryptocurrency is currently illegal for purchasing goods in Thailand. Everett described these minor details as “temporary frictions on the runway to innovation.”
Local vendors remained unimpressed.
“I have ten customers waiting for pork rice,” said Nalinee Jantaraporn, who runs a popular stand in Sathorn. “He wants me to make another QR code? He can eat the QR code.”
By mid-afternoon, Everett had reportedly pivoted, announcing a new plan to offer “consulting services” for 3,000 baht an hour to any vendor “ready to scale their noodle brand internationally.”
As of press time, Everett was last seen trying to explain blockchain to a grilled pork vendor who responded by raising the price on his next skewer — for him, and him alone.