Bangkok Expat Asks for Cheap Rent, Walkable Location, Pool, Gym, and Peace — Told to Try Narnia
By KIP DUNGWORTH, STAFF REPORTER
BANGKOK, THAILAND — In a move described as "bravely optimistic" by the local real estate community, newly arrived Californian expat Erica J., 28, has stunned online housing groups by seeking an affordable central Bangkok apartment with amenities, tranquility, and public transport nearby, prompting recommendations she relocate immediately to a fictional dimension.
Erica’s now-infamous Facebook post requested "a quiet studio or one-bedroom, cheap rent, walkable to BTS or MRT, with a pool, gym, balcony, and no street noise," inadvertently uniting the notoriously cynical Bangkok expat property groups in shared disbelief
Responses were quick and uncharacteristically helpful. "Sounds like you're looking for a magical wardrobe portal," commented one veteran expat named Kevin. "You might want to try Aslan Realty."
Others recommended locations including Hogwarts dormitories, the Shire, and "that place from Avatar," where tranquility is abundant, but the commute admittedly complicated.
One longtime Bangkok resident named Steve, who regularly advises newcomers with dubious patience, explained gently, "Your budget allows either a peaceful rice field shack or a cramped concrete box next to a noisy construction site. Choose wisely."
Real estate agents, reached for comment, described Erica's specifications as "the unicorn of apartment hunting." One local property manager offered sincere advice: "Try reducing your expectations. Start by abandoning your desire for quietness. And affordability. And possibly the pool."
At press time, Erica was reportedly revising her wish-list slightly, asking only for "a place to sleep that's not on fire," earning grudging approval and several serious inquiries from Bangkok landlords.