Backpacker’s Helmet Request Met With Laughter, Then 80km/h Through Afternoon Traffic
By KIP DUNGWORTH, STAFF REPORTER
CHIANG MAI, THAILAND — A German backpacker’s attempt at basic safety protocol was met with ridicule and rapid acceleration this week, after he requested a helmet from a motorbike taxi driver — and was instead launched into Chiang Mai’s afternoon traffic at 80 km/h.
According to witnesses, 29-year-old Felix Gruber had just finished a temple tour and flagged down a moto-taxi outside Tha Phae Gate. Upon asking for a helmet, the driver reportedly paused, laughed, said “Okay, okay,” and handed him a Hello Kitty lunchbox as a decoy.
Gruber, confused but polite, climbed on the back of the Honda Click and was immediately treated to a real-time physics demonstration involving red lights, blind curves and the general concept of mortality.
“He was gripping the seat with both hands like it was a parachute cord,” said one witness. “The driver looked bored.”
Sources close to the pavement say the ride lasted 14 minutes, covered six near-death experiences and briefly entered the wrong lane of a roundabout “for style.”
When reached for comment, Gruber said, “I thought I might die, but it felt rude to ask him to slow down.”
Despite the shock, he said he was grateful to arrive at his hostel with most of his limbs and “a newfound respect for the illusion of control.”
Local drivers were less sympathetic.
“Helmet?” said one rider at the nearby taxi stand. “Tell him to try asking for a seatbelt next.”
Gruber has since decided to rent his own motorbike, citing “freedom” and “cheaper than Grab.” He does not possess a Thai license, insurance, or, as of Friday afternoon, skin on his right elbow.